Have you heard the saying,
“In life, there are only three certain things — ‘death, taxes and change?’ ”
Change in life is inevitable — it is a fundamental aspect of life.
Everything around us is subject to change — from the weather to the seasons, from our health to our physical bodies, from technology to societies.
While the unknown can be daunting, embracing change is a crucial aspect of personal development and overall wellbeing.
In fact, as psychologists, we believe that one of the secrets to living successfully is to learn how to handle the changes that come along our way. Being able to handle change with grace and equanimity builds resilience which leads to growth towards a more fulfilling life.
Embracing Change is a Superpower
I have recently gone through massive changes in my life.
I quit my stable corporate job to pursue my passion for mental health.
I left my home country of Malaysia and went to do my Masters of Psychology in the UK, having to start my life anew.
My dad passed away after battling with bipolar and the many illnesses that ensued.
I got married to my soulmate and moved back to Malaysia to be close to him.
All of this changes within a span of three years.
With each life change, I used it as an opportunity to practise my adaptation skills, I learnt to embrace what comes with change and therefore grow my resilience muscles.
Each change brings about a challenge — its essentially the universe asking us;
“Are you ready to step out of your comfort zone?”
Most of the time when these changes occurred, I wasn’t ready. But I took that leap of faith anyway because I truly believe that these changes will help me grow out of my comfort zone. This is how we discover untapped strengths and abilities within ourselves.
Change forces us to adapt, learn, and evolve.
What You Resist, Persists
Resistance to change often leads to stagnation.
When we become complacent and resist the natural ebb and flow of life, we risk missing out on valuable opportunities for self-discovery and improvement.
With resistance, you spend a lot of mental and emotional energy wishing your circumstance be different than it was. It’s an energy leak.
One of the most interesting explanations I have read about why resistance leads to the persistence of that event/item/emotion of which you are resisting comes from the book Reality Transurfing. Written by a Russian physicist, Vadim Zeland, the book presents a unique perspective on reality by combining elements of quantum physics, psychology and metaphysics.
According to Reality Transurfing, when you resist something, you put “excessive importance” on it. Excessive importance means attaching too much significance or emotional intensity to a specific outcome.
The excess importance creates negative potential. The laws of the universe swoop in to try and balance the potential energy — by making what you resist come to reality!
Guiding Life Through Change
So what is the best strategy to go through life’s changes?
First and foremost, hone your self-awareness skills through regular practices of reflection and meditation. This will allow you to be mindful and aware of what the change is trying to teach you.
By using that awareness, align and steer yourself towards the direction of your true north, taking into account the new limitations that the change presents. This of course means that you need to be clear about what your true north / life’s purpose / ikigai is.
For example, when I went to do my Masters in the UK, I initially planned on staying in the UK longer. I was intent on learning about the mental health systems of a more developed nation, so that I can eventually go back to Malaysia and implement those systems.
Unfortunately, my dad fell gravely ill about halfway through my studies. I decided to return home as soon as my studies ended, and because of that, I managed to spend his final three weeks with him.
That continues to be one of the best decisions of my life. My dad was my biggest inspiration in life — my career pivot towards mental health was because of my experience being a caregiver to his bipolar illness. I would have never forgiven myself if I wasn’t there when he passed.
Knowing that I only had a limited time in the UK, I made sure to make full use of that time. I signed up to volunteer in mental health wards in the National Health System. I did an internship in a special school in Wales teaching neurodivergent children.
The shorter timeline didn’t deter me from achieving my true north — which was to learn about mental health systems in the UK. I just had to adapt my plans to the new timeline and keep moving towards the direction of my purpose.
When you embrace the waves of change that life brings, you learn to navigate your way through life and whatever challenges it presents.
And that is the most valuable asset you can have in life.
Article was originally published on Medium.
